These are a collection of blog posts which remain unfinished, but I thought I would make them more accessible to my readers by gathering them together on this page. Please feel free to comment and ask questions. If you follow my blog, you will get notification of the next exciting installment as it is written.
The Song of Songs, is an ancient poem of supreme Erotic love, offering insight into all romantic love has to offer us. The Songs were written by King Solomon, the first living son of the infamous union between the giant slaying minstrel, warrior King David and his lover, now wife, Bathsheba.
King Solomon excelled even more that his father in virility, having over 1000 wives, but legend has it that he had a passionate and soul filled affair with the Queen of Sheba who visited him, staying for more than 6 months. I believe the Songs were composed with the intentional use of clever hidden symbolism in order to particularly delight his like-minded Queen Sheba, who also aspired to the finding out of life’s riddle, and in Solomons own words, there is little more complex to understand than that between a man and a maid. It is said that the Queen was very curious upon many matters and sought to test the wisdom of Solomon after hearing tales of his greatness. Apparently she was duly impressed and bore great reverence to the King. The songs are filled with all the fairytale idealism and intensity of Eros, but also, with great tenderness, expresses Agape within the erotic relationship.
The Song of Songs is also a prophetic parable that illustrates the nature of the Eternal Lover, Jesus Christ and his relationship with His people, as his betrothed bride. It has been a source of intimate symbolism of this most divine of all love relationships, and this study will attempt to unify and harmonise these two positions, bringing heavenly virtue to the earthly love between man and woman, and demystifying and normalising the spiritual union we have or rather, can have in Christ.
This song can be found in the middle of any complete bible. Most of these scriptures are from the New Living Translation (NLT)
v1 “This is Solomon’s song of songs, more wonderful than any other.”
Far from being an arrogant boast, this introduction is meant to tell the reader, “Listen to these mysteries and give them your careful attention. It will lead you to knowledge and experiences, more wonderful than any other.”
v2 “Kiss me with the kisses of your mouth, for your love is so much better than wine.”
The song starts with the dark and exotic beauty longing to be kissed. She’s putting out, and desiring his affection. One is led to believe, in this tale, the woman is the initiator.
v3 “Your anointing oil smells good, and your name is like purified oil, hence many women love you.”
Romantic love (Eros) is experienced through the senses, but the woman is also revealing the first blossomings of admiration and an elevation of the beloved. Erotic love is idealistic and so it should be. These early feelings of idolation and respect will later become strengthened by Agape (unconditional, mature love) in a good healthy relationship. At this stage she realizes that she is one of many, as the king has not yet chosen her.
v4 “Lead me and I will run behind you. The King has brought me into his private inner room. We will exult with trembling and rejoice. We will document this love as a memorial, for your love is better than wine. It is right that I love you.”
The woman is naturally inclined to submission in the presence of her chosen beloved. She wants to be led and to follow as an expression of her respect for him. This is the most beautiful thing a woman can bestow upon a man and his perception of it leads him to choose her and to desire intimacy with her within the “inner chamber” of his heart. The couple then find themselves in an electric situation where they both realize they have a love of worth that should be immortalized (as it was in this poem). There is a deep feeling of rightness about it all.
Female Insecurity ch 1:5-8
v5 “I am dark but beautiful, O women of Jerusalem— dark as the tents of Kedar, dark as the curtains of Solomon’s tents
The early blossomings of Eros make a woman more confident and aware of her allure. She sees that she belongs with this man. Our bride is ready for love, brown as a berry and feels beautiful, soon to adorn Solomon’s tent. She is really saying that she feels she belongs with him. She feels part of the furniture, and she is willing for her body to grace and beautify Solomon’s inner chamber, as do the dark curtains of his tent.
v6 “Don’t stare at me because I am dark— the sun has darkened my skin. My brothers were angry with me; they forced me to care for their vineyards, so I couldn’t care for myself—my own vineyard.”
Some women have great torment of mind over their appearance and all it’s flaws. We’ve all got a story. Our sister bride in the song hasn’t looked after herself. She has been manipulated by lazy males offloading their responsibilities onto her. The result? Burnt sun damaged skin? I don’t know, but somehow we sense she’s been ripped off.
v7 “Tell me, my love, where are you leading your flock today? Where will you rest your sheep at noon? For why should I wander like a prostitute among your friends and their flocks?”
Where did that come from? Why does this girl feel like a prostitute? Does she have no home or sense of place? She is full of insecurities and self image issues. The word here translated as prostitute by the NLT is in Hebrew, atah which means covered, entrapped as with a cloak. Lepers and prostitutes and those in mourning and in shame all come to mind. And such are we, however this girl wants to be somewhere else. She seeks to be free of the shame she feels amongst his companions (church folk?) Its not enough for her to be with his friends flock, she wants Him. There is only one who can remove our shame and love us despite our darkness. She’s looking to find her love in a restful place, sheltered from the hot midday sun and friends and possessions can never take the place of Him.
v8 “If you don’t know, O most beautiful woman, follow the trail of my flock, and graze your young goats by the shepherds’ tents.”
Where to find him? Jesus and our earthly bridegroom can be found with Gods people and the trail of truth left to us from past ages.
So this is where our girl is at when she falls in love with Solomon. She’s got quite a past but is also on the right path for love.
Song of Songs 1:9-17 The Fragrant Circle of Romantic Bliss
Previously, our insecure, shame filled girl was seeking to leave all that behind and come and find rest with her shepherd, and so she has. Did he chide her for her faults? No. Love covers a multitude of sins. The lover sees her through the eyes of love, and as they recline in green fields, sheltered from the heat of the day under a canopy of cedar.
V9 “You are as exciting, my darling, as a mare among Pharaoh’s stallions.”
In truth, the NLT takes liberties with the original Hebrew, and the KJV is more accurate when it says, a “mare among Pharoahs chariots”. The Hebrew emphasis and meaning is not really as sexually inflamed as a mare amongst stallions suggests, but personally I love the sexual colour this translation brings.
The excitement is visual. Pharoahs mare is all feathers and gold adornments. A man in love sees all this beauty which in truth may not be there through others eyes.
V 10-11 “How lovely are your cheeks; your earrings set them afire! How lovely is your neck, enhanced by a string of jewels. We will make for you earrings of gold and beads of silver.”
A man in love not only sees her beauty, but wants to beautify her further.
V12 [Young Woman] “The king is lying on his couch, enchanted by the fragrance of my perfume.”
This is a really important revelation. The girl who previously was preoccupied with her flaws is beginning to comprehend her worth. In the loving presence of one who sees and communicates her loveliness, a realisation is dawning. Her essence is enchanting. Being loved releases the true fragrance of the soul.
V13-14 “My lover is like a sachet of myrrh lying between my breasts. He is like a bouquet of sweet henna blossoms from the vineyards of En-gedi.”
Here is the source of the fragrance, her love for the beloved, likened to a bundle of myrrh, a precious healing resin and sweet fragrant blossoms. All her thoughts of him are contained within her heart. They are thoughts of his healing sweetness and this overflows and becomes a tangible fragrance. (2 Corinthians 2:15 (NLT) “Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God.”)
V15-17 “How beautiful you are, my darling, how beautiful! Your eyes are like doves. You are so handsome, my love, pleasing beyond words! The soft grass is our bed; fragrant cedar branches are the beams of our house, and pleasant smelling firs are the rafters.”
Eros, or romantic love is divinely elevating to the soul. Each is enamoured by the others beauty and loveliness, and this inspires and releases the fragrance of the soul which in turn enchants the lovers further. It is good and right that lovers spend time enjoying and appreciating one another. The man in particular should naturally be inspired by the beauty of his lover and by communicating that, he not only builds his lovers self esteem, but also releases her fragrant heart of love for him.
Keys for sexual bliss – chapter 2:1-7
“I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.”
Our song opens with the heroine reflecting dreamily on these words, ” I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.” Perhaps these are words her lover spoke during their last leisurely encounter, and now they burn in her soul, as if to make a clearing for the garden of love.
A man must first esteem his woman. He finds her beautiful and he tells her. This is the first pillar for marital harmony. The man must genuinely love and adore his wife. It’s easy to do when she is young and perfect, at the height of her beauty. All of this is to help you bond as one and so fulfill and experience the mystery of love, and maintain it into old age where beauty fades, but the heart shines. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” Ephesians 5:25
Does your man love you? Does he speak such wondrous things into your soul? Does he make you feel beautiful and you know he really believes it? Love starts because He first loved us.
I believe love is at the heart of the foundational dynamic required for a successful erotic relationship. I believe it is not until the man genuinely adores and appreciates, as a valued treasure, his woman, that a relationship can begin to go forward and obtain all that is possible.
If a man is in a relationship for any lesser reason ie, comfort, easy sex, financial benefit, boredom, loneliness, a need for a house cleaner etc, sex will always be plagued by the emptiness and insatiability of lust. These days, women choose and pursue men, but I don’t think a woman’s love can hold a man. He must love her or learn to love her by filling his mind and soul with the heavenly imparted love that God has for each one of us.
In a successful erotic relationship, the male adoration of his beloved stirs a trembling response and flowering of self-acceptance in the woman. She feels and looks more beautiful when she is in love. Eros is a divine potion for a woman’s health and beauty.
“As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.”
But it doesn’t stop there. Now the lover makes his voice heard, pledging his fidelity with single-eyed focus. There is no comparison, his woman alone attracts his attention, so far above all others is she prized and esteemed by her King.
This builds the second pillar of Agape within the erotic relationship. When the woman feels that her man only has eyes for her, it gives her confidence and a safe environment where she can relax and express more sexual openness and trust.
“As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.”
The third pillar is her adoration, preference and care that she bestows on her beloved. He also is set apart in her world. In this case, the woman’s lover is represented as a wild apple tree in the woods. This was a particularly delicious tree, sweet to her taste. She would watch over it and enjoy observing the naked form blossoming in spring. Then she would eagerly await the full ripening reward of Autumns fruit.
The esteem and favor she bestows on her beloved inspires a rested, easy, delight-driven submission (I sat down under his shadow with great delight), which she knows protects and shelters her from life’s hardships. At this point she becomes vulnerable. Many women never can let themselves go there. This is another road block for your consideration.
“He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love”
When a woman can move into a place of natural joyous submission, and honors her beloved by esteeming him more greatly than all others, it sets the stage for the fourth pillar, the response now comes from the man.
Female vulnerability inspires and draws out another of Agape’s treasures, the male desire to protect, nurture and provide a feast for a soft woman’s soul. Letting a man be a man is what it is all about.
“Stay me with cakes of pressed dried raisins, comfort me with apples: for I am weak because of love”
The reward of this woman’s adoration and submission is an overwhelming depth of sexual experience that makes her weak, melting in a rest of responsiveness to her lovers movings.
“His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me”
After lovemaking is a glowing time of repose and embrace. Make the most of these comforting moments of peaceful unity.
“I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.
There are many levels upon which one can consider these lines. Satisfying sex promotes deep feelings of relaxation and well being which one should allow our man to enjoy. Do not cut it short but indulge him. Sex will often make him sleepy. It’s ok as long as he had the energy to make you happy. You might get up and clean, but let him sleep in on the weekends. Make life easy for him. You will get more good sex if he’s happy, fed and rested.
These lines could also be seen, on another level, to be the wise cry of advice from the Lover, Queen and Bride, triumphant in love. Her advice, let the man take the lead in love and be patient as he learns to do so. Adore and prefer him to all others and allow yourself to feel the natural submission that comes as a result of esteeming your man.
So ends the first section of the Song of Songs.