Eventually we realise that the longing within us for the lover of our dreams will never be fully realised. Each of us, if we are really honest, will admit we are unfulfilled in our relationship on some level. It may be just for moments here and there, but more commonly there are days, weeks and years when our lover shuts us out and avoids intimacy behind their busy responsibilities and any other number of often very valid excuses. People hide and disconnect. You do it, I do it. It’s all very understandable but lonely all the same. It does not take a lifetime to realise that intimacy is hard won and shifting.
So whether it is you who are avoiding intimacy or your partner, someone’s lonely. Loneliness is a big ache, and people resort to all manner of follies in an attempt to quench it’s gnawing bile. Alcohol, drugs, extra-marital encounters, model trains…None of which answers the need or makes peace with the loss we feel.
How should we positively negotiate this dilemma? I have found consolation and strength by drawing to and comprehending, (perhaps only dimly), my Eternal Lover. I think we search for him in every relationship, then expect too much from people and find less than we need.
It is said that our heavenly form is sexless, neither male nor female, not given in marriage. Sorry to break it to you, especially my Muslim brothers, but there’s no sex in heaven according to Jesus. In heaven, we will all be family, but more than that, we will be as true lovers, spiritually one and most intimate. No bible student can miss the multitude of references in the scriptures to God being our betrothed lover. Over and over God describes his feelings towards Israel as that of a wounded lover, rejected and betrayed. Everything started off all roses but Israel’s and the churches love grows cold. Many times God describes our unfaithfulness to be as an adulteress in our treatment of Him, our Eternal Lover. See the words of Hosea, Jeremiah, Ezekiel.
I believe in order to really discover God the Eternal Lover, one must finally, albeit reluctantly, come to identify the Eternal Whore within ourselves, guilty of base passions, foolish decisions and compromising graspings for provisions. Until we can stand before God and fully acknowledge this, we will never be able to grasp the fullness of His love. Remember His words to the prostitute who bathed His feet in tears, ” He who has been forgiven much loves much.”
Few of us have ever experienced true forgiveness of this magnitude from an earthly lover, but it is always unendingly bestowed upon us by the Eternal Lover, the only one who fully and constantly loves us despite our whoredom. Some, who have learnt from Him, can forgive like Him, and there will be a day when we will all be fully accepted in the beloved AND by one another. Heaven will be that way and if fortunate, you may find glimpses of it here on earth.